OUR LITTLE SECRET

Our little secret is a rough story to read.  Not so much because of how it is written or illustrated but because of its subject and the disarming honesty showed by its writer and illustrator.  The tone of Emily Carrington's memoir is not without affinities with Paying for it, of fellow Canadian Chester Brown.

It tells the (very) real story of Emily, first as a young girl and teenager, then, later, a woman, and how the sexual abuse she was a victim of from her neighbour affected her life.  It does not have a traditional Hollywood ending, because it is real life and things do not always work as we would wish in reality, but it has a good ending nevertheless.  But it is at times a difficult read nonetheless.

Raised in a troubled home by parents with untreated mental issues, Emily ended up staying with her father, with whom she has a better relationship, when the inevitable divorce came.  For some reason, her father seems to enjoy living in dilapidated farmhouse, with virtually no running water and no insulation (in the Maritimes, no less), often infested with miceand flies.  So needless to say, living is rough, in the boondocks and things are not getting better, with her eccentric and erratic father, struggling with narcissism and borderline personality.

Emily finds refuge with her horse, sheep and other animals, which bring her comfort from all the yelling and tantrums of her father.

Shortly thereafter, their farmhouse is torn down, and they move to another dilapidated farmhouse with a disturbingly predatory man living next door: Richard.  He recognized her vulnerability, as a child without any material and emotional support, and immediately began grooming her.

That portion of the story is home of some of the most intense feelings of the read.  Richard, her abuser, is portrayed differently that the other characters in the book. His words are dark and wiggly.  Almost as if he's vomiting his words.  He is often in a cloud of flies, just like the ones that kept her awake at night, stuck inside a barely insulated ceiling...

The perspective changes about halfway through the book, as Emily recognizes an older Richard during a ferry trip.  It triggers with her a storm of emotions, which leads her to want to punish Richard for his abuses, the realization that she was abused and coaxed into being a slave to Richard's desires, which eventually leads her to pursue legal action.

The candour, tone and at times conversation-like approach is deeply touching, often bringing in uncomfortable zones.

Not an easy book to read by any means, about a very difficult subject matter, it can leave the reader drained at times.

The book, a first time work, shows a mastery of the comic book language that is impressive in a first work, and the narrative choices lure you in, keeping your hand during the more troublesome moments.

Our little secret.  Emily Carrington.  Drawn and Quarterly.